Declaration of War: Can I Use Your Laptop?

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If it involves my laptop leaving my room, the answer is and forever shall be NO.  Okay, you asked, nothing’s wrong with that…asking repeatedly, getting frustrated I won’t bend to your wants and desires, insulting me because I won’t let you use my stuff, and continually badgering me to use my laptop regardless of my nays is completely uncalled for.  It’s called no, and if it’s a firm, steadfast ‘non’, then there’s not a d*mned thing you can do to change that.  It’s only recently in college that I’m starting to deal with these d**hebags that have apparently never heard of using one’s laptop instead of a desktop.  There’s a multitude of reasons why anyone would do this, cost effectiveness and owning an internet tablet being such reasons, but at the end of the day, if someone doesn’t want to move their laptop and/or let you use it, shut the f*ck up and accept it, ’cause there’s really nothing you can (legally) do to get around that no, and if you just can’t accept it, let this be one of the many signs of your unforgivable ignorance, selfishness, and immaturity.